hopperbach


Defective merchandise

Credit Joel Samuelson for this gem of a cartoon (and let’s hope Barry lost his receipt).



Do the algebra

Charming Billy is at it again. This time former president Clinton was speaking to foreign dignitaries in Denver when he presented this oh-so-subtle hypothetical.

He said: “Suppose you’re a voter, and you’ve got candidate X and candidate Y. Candidate X agrees with you on everything, but you don’t think that candidate can deliver on anything at all. Candidate Y you agree with on about half the issues, but he can deliver. Which candidate are you going to vote for?

Then, perhaps mindful of how his off-the-cuff remarks might be taken, Clinton added after a pause: “This has nothing to do with what’s going on now.”

The comments are unlikely to be taken as an innocent mistake by those Democrats who continue to be angry with the former president for, they say, not supporting the Illinois senator wholeheartedly, if not implicitly undercutting him.

The controversial comments came just hours before Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (N.Y.), the former first lady and principal rival to Obama, was due to speak from the convention podium.

Mmmph. That foot can’t taste very good Mr. Bill. Of course there is much trepidation in DNC circles over what Mr. Clinton will say tomorrow night as he speaks at the convention. But I’m more curious about Hillary’s speech tonight — especially if her sophomoric hubby can be seen in the background. Watch closely when she mentions party unity. Will he roll his eyes and sneer derisively? Or better yet will he turn around and moon the crowd in grand PUMA fashion? The possibilities are endless, folks. Get your TIVO ready, this should be a fun night…



Hillary rides again


By all accounts, the Chosen One is poised to take the stage at the Democratic National Convention in August and be crowned as the party’s official nominee for President. So is former rival Hillary Clinton prepared to hold hands with Obama and join the Kum Ba Ya chorus? This is a Clinton, folks… need I even ask?

Although she suspended her campaign in June, this witch still has a little magic up her sleeve. Hillary never formally dropped out of the race after all… meaning she still has all her delegates. She also still has a very angry army of 18 million awaiting their marching orders.

As ABCNews’ The Note reports:

To former President Bill Clinton’s missing praise (to say nothing of what he is saying), we add this: A steadfast refusal by Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton to rule out allowing her delegates to vent in the peculiar fashion of voting for her on the convention floor, instead of the candidate she’s campaigning for.
“I happen to believe that we will come out stronger if people feel that their voices were heard and their views were respected,” Clinton, D-N.Y., told a gathering of supporters last week, ABC News reported Wednesday. “We do not want any Democrat either in the hall or in the stadium or at home walking away saying, well, you know, I’m just not satisfied, I’m not happy.”

It’s as old as, you know, Greek drama,” Clinton said. (We couldn’t agree more.)

And guess who’ll be playing Medusa…

So is Sen. Clinton scheming to be the next comeback kid?  Maybe…. but I think that term is a little too cute to aptly describe it. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction… Hillary is about to rise screaming out of the bathtub.

Note the peculiar “joint” statement issued by Clinton and Obama on Wednesday:

“We are working together to make sure the fall campaign and the convention are a success. At the Democratic Convention, we will ensure that the voices of everyone who participated in this historic process are respected and our party will be fully unified heading into the November election.”

The way things are shaping up, this show of unity will go about as smooth as a gathering of Yankees and Red Sox fans. Make no mistake, Hillary has some leverage here. Behind the scenes she is making sure the DNC knows that how she behaves and what she says during the convention will rest largely upon their cooperation.

“The refusal to publicly announce her intentions is widely seen as a bargaining chip Clinton is holding on to as party officials negotiate logistics regarding her convention speech and other activities,” per ABC News.

And the press certainly seems to like the idea of a renewed battle:

“At this point, it is as likely as not that Clinton will be formally nominated at the convention, individuals close to the negotiations said,” per The Washington Post’s Anne Kornblut. “Officials have firmly denied a report last week that Clinton had decided not to have her name put into the record. Advisers on both sides also said that relations between the two are improving.” (But still have a ways to go?)

You only thought it was over,” ABC’s John Berman said on “Good Morning America” Thursday.

Oh we never thought it was over… this Greek tragedy is only beginning.



JibJab scores a knockout

Equal opportunity offender JibJab has posted a new campaign video for the ’08 election. This is probably the funniest I’ve seen from them to date. If you don’t laugh hard all the way through this clip, I’d suggest you go to the local clinic and get some humor implants.

The Obama ‘Disney animal’ segment is positively rich. They accomplish in 12 seconds what it can take several paragraphs to get across in an editorial or blog entry.

In addition to that, the guys at JibJab are brilliant at illustrating the futility of the election process as it exists today. No matter who you vote for this year, you’re pretty much gonna get spun around and “poked in the rear” by Uncle Sam.

Enjoy the clip. And don’t worry libs, there are plenty of good digs at the Prez and McCain here as well:



Pucker up

No need for a lot of commentary on this one.  Just a little Monday morning fun with our favorite ex clown-in-chief:

As Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were kissing and making up last Friday, Bill Clinton might have had other ideas, according to a report in The (London) Telegraph.

The paper reports that even as the former president and the current presumptive Democratic nominee prepare to meet to make their own amends, Bill Clinton reportedly told close friends Obama can “kiss my ass” to get his support.

The man gets so much more entertaining as he gets older… kind of like that eccentric uncle who places his dentures on the table as he sits down for a Thanksgiving meal.

Story here:

Report: Bill Clinton Tells Friends Obama Can Kiss His Butt



No VP and a big FU for HC

hillary clinton mad

Barack Obama’s “in-your-face” move of hiring disgraced former Clinton campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle has outraged the Hillary camp in what is seen as a clear message that Barry does NOT want her as his Veep.

Jason Horowitz of the New York Observer relayed a potty-mouthed tirade from a former Clinton bundler:

A former bundler to Hillary Clinton just called in to tell me that Barack Obama’s selection of Patti Solis Doyle as chief of staff to the campaign’s eventual vice presidential nominee is the “biggest f–k you I have ever seen in politics.”

The donor, speaking on background, said that everyone in Clinton circles knows the two have hard feelings towards one another and haven’t spoken since Clinton removed Solis Doyle as campaign manager, and that Clinton loyalists view her with deep suspicion and believe that she is shopping around a book deal and acted as a background source for an extremely harsh Vanity Fair piece about Bill Clinton.

“Either one of two things happen,” said the bundler. “Hillary is selected as vice president and they fire Patti, or Hillary is not going to be the vice president.”

The bundler said that Clinton loyalists were livid over the pick.

“You don’t hire Patti Solis Doyle for her operational expertise,” said the bundler. “You don’t do that. This is someone who failed dramatically at her job. You only bring her on to f–k someone else.

Aside from the obvious question of why Hillary would have kept Solis Doyle around for 17 years if she was that incompetent, I also have to wonder just what the White Witch of Narnia expected Doyle to do after being unceremoniously dumped on the side of the road last February in a move described by the WSJ as “done so coldly and publicly that hardened colleagues say they were stunned.” Did Hillary really expect this not to come back to bite her rather sizable… ego?

But on the other side of things: while I don’t blame Doyle for pouncing at this chance to publicly thumb her nose at her former employer, I do have to question Obama’s sanity. Good as it must have felt… was this blatant face-slap really such a wise move on Barack’s part? As Mark Hemingway from the National Review observes:

First, her hiring strikes me as curious in one respect — is it common practice to hire the VP’s chief of staff before you select a VP? Wouldn’t the person selected for VP want to make that hire? Second, if Solis Doyle’s hire is in fact the proverbial horsehead in Hillary’s bed, is it really wise to irk the Clintons? Can’t they wreak tremendous havoc behind the scenes? They already have an incentive to set Hillary up as the I-told-you-so candidate in 2012, never mind the fact that this is a personal insult to the Clintons’ considerable egos. And if that’s the case, isn’t this move a breathtaking display of hubris on the part of the Obama campaign?

Considering that this is the same Barack Obama who recently wrote a letter to the Secretary of Defense demanding a “swift response” to his questions about recent troop suicides, we see that the man is no stranger to “breathtaking hubris”. But I’m not sure Barry really knows what he is up against when he messes with the Sopranos Clintons. Behind the scenes string-pulling is their specialty, and these folks have brought down many a career whenever they’ve felt dissed. This I believe would qualify.

Not to mention the fact that this doesn’t help Obama AT ALL with the “Harriet” crowd. Does Barry really want to rub political salt in the wounds of tens of millions of disgruntled voters?

Some of Barack’s campaign maneuvers just strike me as overly rambunctious. He’s either really bold or really naive.

I’ll take the latter for 18 million points.



Now, children…

katie couric

It has been a great delight over recent months to watch the liberal mainstream media eat their own and bicker amongst themselves over the Obama vs. Clinton contest. You see, the MSM has always dreamed of the day when a woman OR an African American would be a serious contender for a presidential race. Analysts and pundits had their poignant soliloquies at the ready for just such an occasion. They were prepared to enlighten us little people on the historical significance of it all (because of course we never would have figured that out on our own).

What they never anticipated was that the first serious African American contender would be pitted against the first serious female contender in the same race. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Now liberal columnists had to choose sides. Now analysts on the network news shows had to stand for one and against the other. Now THEY were faced with the uncomfortable prospect of being labeled either a racist or a sexist depending upon which candidate they chose.

Needless to say, the feathers have been flying and it has been a sheer joy to behold.

The ever perky Katie Couric is among the latest to enter the fray. She shared her embittered take on Hillary’s recent loss while speaking at a pow-wow in her honor. Mediabistro’s Daily FishbowlDC reports:

Yesterday, CBS’ Katie Couric was honored by the Sewall-Belmont House and Museum at their Alice Award Luncheon Gala. She was recognized for “her remarkable career in news media, her ground breaking role as the first female solo anchor of a weekday network evening broadcast and her tireless advocacy for colorectal cancer screening, which has helped save the lives of countless men and women each year” (according to a release).

Some thoughts from Couric at the event:

However you feel about her politics, I feel that Sen. Clinton received some of the most unfair, hostile coverage I’ve ever seen.

Couric went on to say that latent sexism contributed, in part, to Hillary’s defeat.

Actually, I think abrasive phonyism did Hillary in, Katie. Unless you were referring to the sexism of her saboteur hubby (what, you think Bill really wanted to be first dude?)

Couric then aimed her darts at one of her esteemed collegues — without naming names — over his confessed bias for Obama:

She referred to one “prominent member of the commentariat” who said he “found it hard to be objective when it came to Obama.

That’s your job,” she remembers thinking when hearing this, before suggesting that he “find another line of work.

Oh this is just grand coming from a news-anchor who has to keep a cup under her desk whenever she talks about a republican so that she’ll have something to spit her nails into. By the way, Katie, might we ALSO suggest… I mean Micky D’s is hiring… and they could sure use your toothy smile behind the counter…

DF then goes on to speculate whether Katie was referring here to Chris Matthews… or perhaps Lee Cowan. I personally don’t know or care. Either way it’s lib vs. lib and it’s pure gold.