The beautiful mind of a House Speaker

Ever wanted to peek into the head of Nancy Pelosi — just to aim an X-ray through the ol’ botox and see what swims around in that cerebral cortex of hers? David Rogers at Politico has written a little piece that touches upon her ambitions, her hopes… and her predilection for coordinates:

“I have always loved longitude,” Nancy Pelosi says before breaking into laughter. “I love latitude; it’s in the stars. But longitude, it’s about time. … Time and clocks and all the rest of that have always been a fascination for me.”

Time is indeed fascinating. Here’s a fun and interesting exercise: look at the clock on your wall right now.  See that ‘seconds’ hand ticking off?  With each tick, a group of lawmakers at 38 latitude and 77 longitude have spent another dollar of your tax money! And you thought science wasn’t cool…

Now let’s have a look at Pelosi’s take on a debate that rages in the hallowed halls of Congress at this very moment — the energy crisis:

With fewer than 20 legislative days before the new fiscal year begins Oct. 1, the entire appropriations process has largely ground to a halt because of the ham-handed fighting that followed Republican attempts to lift the moratorium on offshore oil and gas exploration. And after promising fairness and open debate, Pelosi has resorted to hard-nosed parliamentary devices that effectively bar any chance for Republicans to offer policy alternatives.

I’m trying to save the planet; I’m trying to save the planet,” she says impatiently when questioned. “I will not have this debate trivialized by their excuse for their failed policy.”

This, folks, is Section X: Page 12 of the Democrat playbook: Pretend you’re the lone champion of a healthy earth and the only party who cares about clean air and water. Then use that position to self-righteously defend any attempts to actually ease the burdens you have placed on everyday Americans through past do-gooder legislation.

But let’s not assume the woman is shallow. As we’ll soon see, there are many layers to the onion that is Nancy Pelosi. In addition to a penchant for science, the House leader has a literary side:

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) promoted futurists such as Alvin Toffler; Pelosi sails the mythical voyages of Italian novelist Umberto Eco.

In case you’re not familiar with this author, he is an expert on medieval aesthetics who has described the Middle Ages as “a geometrically rational schema of what beauty ought to be, and on the other [hand] the unmediated life of art with its dialectic of forms and intentions”. This echos what I and I’m sure many of you have thought about that period as well.

But lest you assumed Democrats were dry and boring… they do have a sense of humor:

The Colombian writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez is such a favorite that Pelosi’s staffers joke about what she would do if the Nobel laureate were to call about the Colombian Trade Agreement bottled up in the House.

Ba dump bump!

Pelosi then goes on to defend her endorsement of an alternate energy plan crafted by the Democrat’s favorite sworn enemy-turned-friend, T. Boone Pickens:

“We find our common ground on reducing our dependence on foreign oil, and he is a visionary for the future in terms of wind power,” Pelosi says of Pickens.

Hey it always helps to draw upon your area of expertise. Bush knows oil, Nancy and her gang know wind

To put her next statement in perspective, let’s turn to Section IV, Page 7 of that same dog-eared playbook: Reference the children, the poor and the elderly as often as possible and pronounce your opponents the diabolical foes of these groups.

“Listen,” she laughs, “I go on the floor of the House every day and deal with people who don’t want to give health care to poor little children in America. We’re trying to get a job done. This is a giant kaleidoscope. One day you and I are on the same side. The next day it’s the two of us against you.”

Close your playbooks, please.  If nothing else is learned here we at least see that Democrats have become a complete caricature of themselves. I’m talking about the cheesy, airbrushed state-fair variety. This is the type of Democrat thinking that Joe Lieberman has so adamantly railed against in recent opinion pieces.

Here’s a way you can really help, Nancy… and I’ll put it in terms that you understand. The parents of these “poor little children” would like to be able to commute back and forth to their jobs without spending a week’s worth of grocery money on gas. Are you going to look these children in the eyes and tell them their mommies and daddies are going to have to to wait for the wind to blow? Or are you going to lift a ridiculous ban that prevents us from utilizing our own resources — resources that China and Cuba are now tapping into just 50 miles off OUR shores –so that these children can maybe have a little more food on their table?

Just using some of your own heartstring persuasion tactics here, Speaker Pelosi. This is actually kind of fun.

Now, look into those sad little eyes, Nancy, and give these children an answer…


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